Blog — IBL, The Institute of Biblical Leadership

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Dave Deets

When Men Have Miscarriages

It is estimated that nearly half of all pregnancies will end in miscarriage. This is devastating for the couple as they endure the loss of their unborn child. For men however, there is often a silent pain that is never expressed or acknowledged. In “When Men Have Miscarriages,” Dave shares his family's journey through multiple miscarriages. It is meant to be an encouragement and help to the thousands of men who have dealt with the trauma of miscarriage in silence. The book is real, it is raw, and it is relevant. Dave's heart is that the book brings a topic to the table that for years has needed to be discussed and will allow the conversation to move forward with grace.

ENDORSEMENtS

“Dave Deets has written an insightful book that should have been written years ago. In a clear and down-to-earth style, Dave addresses the hard questions of men who go through miscarriage in a way that will not only help them, but ultimately serves the couple well. Every pastor should have this on their shelf.” - David Whitaker President, Venture Church Network

“When men go through difficulties or struggles, they tend to clam up, put their head down, and with a clenched jaw walk forward in silence. This book opens the heart, raises the head, and softens the silence with honest and humorous wisdom from one who has experienced struggles. If you want help in a very different way, take some time and read this, not just for yourself but also for others you will meet along your path. Enjoy.” - Pastor Will Lohnes, Lead Pastor, Hope Chapel, Greer, SC

This book is intensely personal. Dave, with the permission of his wife and children, welcomes you into the hospital room and the ultrasounds. I trust that this will be used of the Lord to help men work through these difficult and challenging days.” – Pastor Chad DeJong, Pastor, Byron Center Bible Church, Byron Center, MI

Reviews

“This book is a balm for the hurting, a salve for the soul and I cannot say strongly enough how much I would recommend it to every pastor, small group leader, church leader, and every couple who experiences the devastation of miscarriage. Even now, years after our miscarriages, it has ministered to me and enabled me to lovingly shepherd my wife (and our other children) with grace and truth.”

“This was an excellent resource on a topic that is rarely, if ever, addressed: how do I as a husband handle a miscarriage? Dave, in a pastoral and relatable manner, brings a wealth of personal testimony and Biblical perspective to this issue. You will find touching stories, practical wisdom, and Godly counsel for yourself and/or others. I am grateful for this resource and thankful for Dave’s courage to work through the challenges associated with miscarriage.”

“Dr. Deets empathetically addresses the emotions and struggles that men have when their spouses miscarry. How do men deal with the pain of losing a child? Having experienced his wife's miscarriage, Dave speaks from experience. I highly recommend this book and will be giving it to my friends who are experiencing this pain.”

“While I am a newly-wed, and don't yet have children, I found this book informative and illuminating. The addendum for pastors, especially, was personally profitable. I feel more equipped to shepherd my people through miscarriage.”

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Faithfully Advancing - Invest, Enlist, Repeat

The most-often used Scripture that drives our philosophy of International Training is 2 Timothy 2:2. Our true desire is to labor alongside God’s leaders in majority (developing) world countries in such a way that we invest in them, enlist them into service, and release them into ministry; specifically, the ministry of training other national leaders.  To that end, our training has six important characteristics.

We are intentional in who we enlist in the training.  We rely heavily on our National Coordinator to help us identify the men and women God would have to be part of the training.  We want our students to be mature, serious-minded, and proven participants in church leadership.  They may be pastors, pastors’ wives, deacons, or other significant church leaders.  Whatever their official title or position, we want to ensure they have a heart to become the leader God intends them to be.  Our training isn’t for everyone, but for those who do receive our training, we do all we can to invest in them with intentionality.

Our time together with the students is very interactive.  As we teach, we proactively engage our students in discussion.  We want to be sure we are communicating appropriately and they are understanding the material as best as possible.  But classroom participation is a small part of the total interaction we have with our students.  As we enjoy chai or coffee with them on our breaks, IBL team members and our guest trainers (many of whom are seasoned pastors) engage in deep, personal interaction with our students.  We listen, counsel, coach, and encourage them.  Our heart is not simply to disseminate knowledge, but rather, we desire to build deep, lasting relationships with our students as we invest in their lives.

Our training is intensive in its curriculum.  While we are not the only “team in town” when it comes to international training, we do believe there are very unique aspects to our approach.  The material we’ve developed has been designed to be as deep and broad as possible in as reasonable a time as possible.  Each class we offer is two hours in length.  Throughout the three-year timeframe of our training, our students will receive twenty classes on theology, twenty classes on pastoral skills (with a heavy emphasis on Bible study and interpretation), and twenty classes on biblical leadership.  We believe our students need to be given the essential tools necessary to be the leaders God desires them to be.  In a world where leadership is all about position, power, title, and money, we want to offer our students the tools they need to be the humble, servant-leaders God desires, so they can be enlisted into effective, God-honoring service.

The relationship we have with our Disciplers is an intimate relationship.  After each week of classes, we ask four to six leaders-of-leaders to stay for two additional days of one-on-few mentoring.  We invest an incredible amount of time and energy into these men.  We get to know them on a deep, intimate level.  We engage with them via zoom several other times during the year.  We know these men and we enlist them into serving with us as we serve the larger group of students.  These men are being trained to be the teachers and disciplers of our students when we are not present in-country; in a real sense they are being developed to be our colleagues.

A Strong Core

A Strong Core

In the center of your body, known as the torso, resides a series of muscles that function together to provide stability for your body. These muscles collectively are referred to as your core. Without these muscles working together, you would lose your capacity to effectively maneuver, lift, shift stress from the spine, and accomplish the myriad daily activities we take for granted. Therefore, fitness trainers are very concerned with strengthening your physical core, to ensure your body is functioning as designed

Responding to COVID-19

Responding to COVID-19

For us at IBL, we have had to cancel several ministry plans; rethink how we can most effectively serve our clients; respond to growing calls for help; faithfully pursue new partnership opportunities; and, like you, address the personal disruptions and stressors that have become part of everyday life. The reality for IBL is that we are busier today than we were at the start of the year. This is a wonderful reality, but one for which we need to continually trust God.

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Four Biblical Signs of Healthy Relationships

Four Biblical Signs of Healthy Relationships

In Philippians 4:2, Paul begins the final section of his book to the church at Philippi.  He states, “I entreat [urge, plead with] Euodia and Syntyche to agree in the Lord.  Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have labored side by side with me in the gospel together…”  The Bible does not share a great deal of information about these two women.  Obviously, they had labored together with Paul and now they were having relational issues.  Paul makes some interesting statements here in the passage regarding relational health within the body.

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